My heart has holes and black blood flows;

Hmm so where to begin? I guess you can say The pain & depression in my heart has gotten worse.? I thought it was getting better but i still have no idea why it is there, but losing my grandma didn't help. Thinking about the holes in the my pounding heart only makes me more irritable. I got alil, overreaccted today? I acted like My brothers girlfriend hated me, cause @ the time I thought i was right, but Im vunerable right now, So I assume anything. Heh. I have come to realize the only escape from this, is being with my friends or being with my brother, the ONLY people that make me give a true smile. I'm tired of fighting with my mom && done obsessing over people who have hurt me. If my parents wouldn't probb send me somewhere to control myself i would of probbaly made alot of dents in my walls and made plenty scars this past year. I'm scared, when i get to High School, this feeling? If i can even call it that, or Just a monster in me, will make me do the worst. Staying by myself for a long period of time, is also what prob does this to me, making me go crazy. I have noticed how i agrue about everything & don't listen to anyone who wants to help or just talk to me.. I blame this one girl, && most everyone knows her Name. I can't tell my parents how hurt & backstabbed i am & feel, and i Don't want too. My cousin Niki, talked to me alil when i was in Denver && it made me feel better, I guess i just need to get over it all & just do something to occupy my mind or find someone other than parents to talk to.. Heh. :/
Well Im hungry , bye.
<;3



&&&don't you just hate it when you're on the edge of breaking down yet no one in the world seems to notice or care.
^quote of the dayyy. woah im relly depressed :/